Freedom from Tangled Emotions

The other day I was sitting with my mom when out of the blue she said, “You know, when you were little, children were to be seen and not heard. Many parents didn’t carry on conversations with their children as they do now.”  At that moment, I knew my mother was apologizing for never talking with or showing affection to my sister and me while we were growing up, especially when we were young.

I don’t have a lot of memories of my growing up years; what I do remember having are a lot of questions and emotions and not knowing what to do with them. My father was a hard worker, but he struggled with a low frustration level and lots of loud, angry outbursts, mainly towards me.  As a result, I struggled with big emotions and people-pleasing behaviors as a child, alternating between anger and extreme sadness. Not knowing what to do with these big emotions, and trying my hardest not to anger my father, I learned how to stuff them inside, only for them to come out in passive-aggressive ways for many years.
I tried to pray to God but felt I wasn’t allowed to be truly honest with Him; I felt I had to be grateful in my prayers and be a good example in my life, but in private, I was still teetering between great anger and sadness.  

Hebrews 4:14-16 states, ”Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and grace to help us in our time of need.”

God designed our emotions to connect us to Him, each other, and ourselves. One of the reasons Jesus came to earth was so that He could experience human emotions. The Bible provides examples of Jesus experiencing many emotions: happiness, sadness, empathy, anger, and even fear in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Isaiah 53:3 states, “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of suffering who knew what sickness was. He was like someone people turned away from; he was despised, and we didn’t value him.”
 
Nowhere in the Bible does it state that we can’t approach God in our prayers with the true depth and breadth of our emotions.  I had to learn that it was okay to let God know when I felt sadness and even when I felt anger—sometimes towards Him!  He can handle it!  Jesus wants our hearts—the whole thing, messy imperfections and all.  Almost every one of David’s psalms start out with David talking honestly with God about his emotions—and ending with praise towards God because David knew he had expressed them to the One who could heal him and show him how to teach others from what he learned.
I pray that we all find the trust to hand over our overwhelming emotions to Jesus and, when advisable, share them in the safety of sweet friends who love and won’t judge our feelings.
John 15:11 states, “I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.”